Skrinkering Hearts

Today’s Monday funk brought to you by a hell of a fantabulous weekend, which began relaxful (is that a word?) on Friday, playing catch up on all the DVR’d shows we had lined up due to some serious baseball watching last week.   We got caught up on Grey’s and ANTM (bye Ebony- she wasn’t one of my faves anyway), The Office, and Stacy and Clinton, accompanied by some damn good Chinese food.   Saturday was a Halloween party at a close friends’ place, with some really killer costumes and decorations, another win by the Sox, and Witches’ Brew.  Sunday was spent enjoying the nice, finally actually feels like fall weather, another Pats win, some Wachusett Octoberfest, and uh, a World Series Championship, baby!

Totally worth the complete exhaustion going on today, consequently.

Don’t forget to get your free taco tomorrow between 2pm-5pm! 

I just bought:

• 7 new lip glosses
• 1 mascara
• 4 eye shadows
• another lip gloss
• 1 shimmering facial whip
• several brushes and tools
• 1 more lip gloss

And all of this loot?  Cost me a grand total of $30.45.  $30.45!, for all of this!  Unflippingbelievable!

Everything?  Is ONE DOLLAR.  $1!!!!!

And if you spend $30?  You get 50% off!

You MUST GO.  Now!  Check out this site immediately (some of you have been emailed this gem by me earlier today when I saw it and flipped). 

Have yourself a field day ladies!

 I did.

A REDSOX PRAYER

Our Father, who art at Fenway…
Baseball be thy game.
They Kingdom come,
WORLD SERIES needs to be won,
On Earth, then on to the Cask ‘n’ Flagon.
Give us this day, a perfect Papi,
And forgive us our losses,
As we forgive those,
Like Bill Buckner.

And lead us not, into desperation,
But deliver us from any losses.

For thine is the Power,
And the Glory,
To beat the ROCKIES,
Forever and ever….the Yankees suck

A-men

**UPDATE**–Opps.  S’cuse me, didn’t write this.  Not sure who did, buy didn’t mean to make one think I’m claiming it as my own.  Probably came from the Globe or boston.com.  Yeah, sounds about right.

Also, I can’t center this picture for the life of me.  But I wasn’t going to let that stop me.  Afterall, his pants have a nice fit and I know he has a good HOH going on. 

Last night, in my car, on my way to a first date with a new guy, I got to thinking about my over analytical self.   How I have the tendency to tear every situation apart, sometimes to threads.   How I can dissect a conversation, a silence, the soft brush on my lower back in by a potential interest of mine, and holy hell, what does that mean???
 
Then I got to thinking about my job.  And how analyzing and assessing are part of my every day 9-5.   Day in and day out I have to meet with a potential client, determine, based on a number of factors, whether they are in fact, “eligible” for services.   Whether they qualify for what our agency offers.   So by requesting background info, medical records, often criminal records, therapist’s notes, medications, etc., my job is to then determine whether the individual I’m working with is eligible.   And if they are, then we can work with them.

So I thought, hmm.  Maybe this is where part of my whole analytical, assessing obsession comes from.   Granted, I don’t typically ask a dude on a first date what his medical history is, if he has any diagnoses that I should know about, and “has the use of alcohol or drugs ever created difficulties for you?,” but hell yeah do I assess.   The way he treats the waitress, how he talks about his family, whether he can handle more than two beers, if he chews with his mouth closed, does he wear a watch?, that normal stuff.   Naturally, because we all have to do some assessing.   But I wonder sometimes, what if what I do every day, has me almost desensitized in a way to this whole process?   What if I’m so used to assessing someone on a daily basis, because it’s what I get paid to do, that when it comes to leaving work, going out into the real world, it gets hard for me to shut this assessing mind of mine off?

And also?  What if my assessment becomes more of a critique than it should be?   What if because I’m so used to doing this whole process with the people I’m helping in my job, I am too harsh on potential dates?   Judge too quickly.   Read too much in between the lines.  Take things too literally.  Spend too much energy observing?

Because that’s just what I’m used to.  And I know that what I do at work is in so many, many ways different than my dating life.   But it’s also somewhat the same.  It’s that process of meeting someone, a potential client or a potential date, and seeing if they are eligible. For services for where I work, or for a second date with me.

The thing is, although there are some definite similarities in this whole assessment process (date or otherwise), there is a point where a line needs to be drawn.   Where I need to throw caution to the wind, head out on that date with no preconceived thoughts in my mind, no expectations, less analyzing and more just enjoying.   The moment and the company.   For what it is, right then and there, a good time out with a new person, hopefully with some laughs and witty banter, with a good haired man, if I’m lucky.   But really, I need to spend more time taking it all in, being there, centered, in that moment in time.  Spend less time and energy on assessing, and looking for what it “could” be.   Because I’m not at work. 

And though relationships and the dating game do take effort and “work” in a sense, there needs to be a distinct difference between what I spend 40 hours a week doing because I have to, and what I choose to spend my extra time doing, because I want to.

Seems like lately some bloggy buds have been telling secrets.  Or sharing secrets, rather.   So I figured since I need a new post up here, I’d jump on the bandwagon.

• I miss the show Newlyweds.   
• I’m an emotional eater.  I’m not one of those people who doesn’t eat when they are really stressed, or loses 10 pounds, post breakup.   If I’m overwhelmed I want pizza, beer, chips.  Or whatever’s not nailed down.
• And then I’m particularly hard on myself afterwards.  Punishing myself for a week after by eating only good foods and working out extra, not allowing any indulgences.   Which is silly. 
• I once had a crush on Hobe from Baywatch.  I met him at a mall one time; he signed a glossy photo of himself for me, and gave me a peace sign (??).   A friend of mine met him in NYC and says that he was a pretty big douchebox, and also on drugs.
• I make up words sometimes.
• Yesterday I got to work and realized I had my undies on inside out.
• I hate when people talk really loud.
• I pretend I’m more into football than I really am.  I’m in it for the excuse to drink beer and be with friends.  
• I wish I knew how to cook better.  Not just “simple” meals.
• I miss my dad lately.
• I don’t think having a friend with bennies is a bad thing.  I wouldn’t mind having one right now.
• I would much rather that someone say that they can’t get together up front, than stinging me along with the maybes and schedule checking, only to cancel last minute.
• I used the “Yes/No” machine at the gym yesterday.  And the ass buster.  I’m sore.  Holy hell am I sore.
• I have been thinking of doing a drastic hair color change, from the color my hair is now, to something more like this.
• I met Polly Shore on Spring Break.  I know that’s not really cool or something to be boasty about.   But there it is.
• I hate hate hate when people wear navy and black. 
• Sometimes I fear that I will be 40, sans hubby and kids.  Which isn’t a horrible thing, but I want that before then.
• I still sleep with a teddy bear.
• People have said that we are soulmates and will end up together one day.   I once hoped that was true, but as time has passed my feelings are changing on that.
• One day I’d like to move away.

Imagine my excitement first thing this morning, whilst sipping my cup of coffee at the office, when I stumbled across this feature on boston.com.  An article dedicated solely to analyzing the Sox player’s locks?  Holy hell.

Something is cute about this fuzzy look on Dice-K.  He could be in the running towards becoming a feature for this week’s good Head of Hair pick, damn straight.

Although so could Doug.  That’s a good HOH right there for sure…

And Papi also.  Because the dude seriously rocks. 

It’s almost the weekend, and thank God for that.  Granted it was a short week and all with Monday’s holiday, but still, it felt like a long one (twss).  The days were draggy.  It felt like it should have been 4pm when it was only noon.  My commute to work was slow this week.  It’s been raining and it’s just felt grode out.  Apparently tomorrow is supposed to brighten up for a few days, which is a good thing I guess, considering two things:

1- My aunt is having her “commitment ceremony” on Saturday with her girlfriend.  This has gone from a commitment ceremony, to a wedding, and back to a commitment ceremony.  They’re getting married outdoors Saturday afternoon, and I’m walking them down the aisle.  Yes, you read that right.  And I’m bringing my roommate as my “date.”  I figure we will fit right in. 

2- There’s two Sox games coming up this weekend, and the weather needs to cooperate for that. 

I’m not sure what to wear on Saturday.  I have gone back and forth on ideas, and I’m probably going to end up in a staple LBD that gets good feedback.  And perhaps I’ll spruce it up with some red shoes.  OR, I’ll just stick to these new black, peep toe pumps that I purchased as part of a retail therapy session two weeks ago.  Hmm.

I am not updating my Weekly Good Head of Hair pick this week.  Because Dylan is nice on the eyes, and because I don’t have the desire to search out a new fella.  But I’ll take suggestions for next week.  Anyone?

Hmm, I don’t know, I think I’ve about tapped out this post.  I’m not too wordy tonight.  I’m adjusting to my new 5:30am wakeup call and currently I’m feeling a little sleepy.  I’m back to hitting the gym in the am, since I’m done training for any upcoming triathlons, as the season is pretty much over, and it’s getting cooler (and rainy-er), so working out outside hasn’t been much of an option.  And, there’s a cute man that was wearing a nice hued green tee shirt this morning with good hair who I’ve got my eye on.  We’ll see if he wants to work on some cardio together. 

Hope everyone has a good evening!  Enjoy Grey’s Anatomy and The Office, if that’s how you roll.

OH!!  And happy bday tomorrow to the lovely Armalicious!  Round of cupcakes and a glass of cheap wine for all, on me.

I guess I didn’t do enough research on him…

Married:

(with child).

Well, I guess he’s straight.  Got that figured out now. 

(this was a commercial during the show tonight. hahaha ha. ha.)

I’m sitting here, looking smurf-like, in a tight, blue, clay mask that I should have taken off 10 minutes ago.  I just had several bites of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked (light, mind you) icecream, and realized it wasn’t what I wanted.

I’m not sure what I’m wanting right now. 

My bed maybe?  Several stiff cocktails?  Some quality time cuddling with a cute, good haired, layered man?  Perhaps all of these things.  I guess.

I’m not totally sure, but I do know that I feel a little off as of late.  Sure, I’ve had a lot going on family wise and everything.  That’s all very true.  I’m dealing with that the best way I can right now.  Spending as much time as I can with my grandparents, writing (go figure, I can barely put together a coherent post here lately), talking with friends, working out, shoe shopping, eating icecream, lighting candles and relaxing.

Tonight I had dinner with a dear friend of mine from college.  She’s getting married in August and I’m one of her bridesmaids.  She is one of those friends that you sometimes go a while without seeing, but you always have the ability to pick up right where you left off together.  She’s the type of friend who immediately upon hearing the news about my grandparents, called and offered her support and love, on contact.  We’ve been there for each other during those college nights where you think it’s a good idea to chase vodka shots with water and it doesn’t go over as planned.  That debacle was ironically followed by a one week stint where the two of us stayed in a convent together for a week, but that’s really a post for another day.  Ahem.

I couldn’t be happier for her with her upcoming wedding and all.  She really has it all together.  And her boyfriend is a real gem.  A real funny, down to earth guy, who treats her well, and has his shit together.  They both have good jobs, just bought a place together, and things, well, they are all falling into place quite nicely, I’d say.

Tonight we spent a fair amount of time talking about wedding stuff, but also about me and my happenings.  Firemen updates (or lackthereofs.  I think I’m done with that endeavor, on a side-note).  She offered some really wonderful advice, and support, and caring and friendship and really, it was a really, really nice dinner and time together.  It was just what I needed.

When I find myself feeling lousy about the many first and second dates but not third or fourth dates I’ve been on, or about the lack of decent (available, good haired) men in what seems to be every place I frequent, or the fact that I sometimes (still) find myself down and out about the ex that I was with too long ago to still be down and out over, I think of her.  My good friend, from now on known as The Bride.  I think of the times that we spent together in college tearing apart dudes who were complete asshats to us.  I think of the different guys we have been with over the years.  I remember how she was at the point where I am today, not very very long ago, feeling a little more than a spec discouraged about the prospects out there.

And I remember the night she met her man, at a bar (that’s right, it does happen, not just on The Hills or in the movies).  And I think of their romance, and how it developed, and I remember, and I realize, that it can happen.  And it really does happen (screaming to the cliche)- “when you least expect it.”  And sometimes, even though I feel just a little pang of why not me too? here and there, mostly, I feel a sense of hope. 

The confidence that things will work out as they are meant to, that trust in the unknown and the workings of it all.  It’s what I’m banking on right now, for so many things. 

this is me trying to post a picture.*

and now you see why i shit you not when i say that i have issues with this stuff.  big issues.

at least we got a good closeup of c-mo’s lack of manhood now. 

meow.

*actually, i guess if you click it you can see the rest of him.  and it.  and my attempt at sharing photos on here.  holy hell.