One Evening

Last night, at the Feist concert, there was an unsettling, fleeting moment, where I thought I saw Mr. Match.

The Mr. Match that I saw was standing next to a pretty blond who was preggers.  We’re talking maybe 6, 7? months preggers.  I had to take a double take there, just to make sure.

Of course, it wasn’t him, but there was that short span of time there where I thought it could be him, and before I noticed that he was standing next to another girl, another prego girl, I was actually pretty okay with it (the seeing him part, not being with a girl who he would have been sleeping with at the same time as me, based on the little soon-to-be-bambino in the oven).

I was with my mom and I had mentioned that this would probably the type of random concert that, just my luck, I’d run into him at.  I know dudes aren’t typically huge huge fans of Feist, but I don’t know, he liked Imogen Heap and some other seemingly eclectic type singers, so hey, it could happen. 

I gave some thought about how it would be to run into him.  Seeing an ex for the first time after the breakup is never an easy thing, usually something one would try to avoid, or, at the very least, make sure you’re rockin a booby shirt, sleek hair, and sassy shoes (all of which I was not doing last night in the bazillion degree heat that = cute sundress, humid wavy hair, and flip flops).  But I digress.

What I haven’t divulged here is that after writing that post, about sorta kinda wanting to contact him a few weeks ago?, I didn’t end up doing it.  I figured it was a silly idea, there was nothing worthwhile to really say, and for the time being, I’d put the thought on the back burner and let it lie there for a bit.

Which it did.  But I kept thinking about it.  About him and how he was doing.  About the closure that we never really had.  I had no clue what I’d intro with if I actually did contact him, but it was almost feeling like the wondering, the “what ifs” were harder to take than the worst case scenario (him ignoring me, or not responding in a positive manner).  So, I bit the bullet a couple weeks back, and we chatted online for like, 7 minutes.  He asked how I was doing, said he thought of me randomly recently for some silly reason, and we shot the shit for another couple minutes.  The convo ended on a good note (I hate gchat, by the way), both of us saying it was nice to catch up, yadda yadda, on our ways we went.

And that was basically that.  There were no big revelations, nothing huge came out of the whole thing, but after chatting with him, I just felt more at ease with the whole thing.  So when it came around to potentially running into him at last night’s show, I feel like I would be totally okay with that.  And that?  That felt good.

Just not him with a prego chick by his side.  Now that’s pushing it.

 

Unrelated PS- New HOH in the house.  Also, you may have noticed the new header?  I’m not convinced I’m in love with it, but it was getting way too tricky for me to keep messing around with it, and at least it’s still featuring some type of shoe (a must), and now the beach (my oasis).  Thoughts?

 

ugh.

Damn wordpress!  I do a post with lots of embedding of pictures and talk of SATC and the lovely weekend I had and the good New England weather.  Even a new HOH, and the whole thing just up and dissapeared.

Damnit to hell.

 

sharing the love

Have you seen Ingrid Michaelson?  If you have the opportunity you should!  You may recognize some of her stuff from Grey’s Anatomy.  I saw her last Thursday night and she was wicked good.  That’s a little interview with her up there.  She’s kind of got a Julianne Moore hair thing going on, huh? 

And she was playing with Ari Hest, have you heard of him?  He’s a good one too, and though this video doesn’t really capture it in it’s true essence, he sure rocks a good HOH alright.

Oh, and the Pay it Forward Contest!  I totally forgot about it, oops.  Until there was another commenter on that post today and, well, I did my thing finally and here’s the proof and the results.

I mixed them all up, all professional-like…

And the winner….

Miss Michelle, my fellow SATC fan, you are it! 

And on that note, I guess I’m turning it in early tonight now that The Hills is on hiatus.  4 more days until the long weekend!

 

**NEW HOH!**

 

I want Heidi to myself!

Last week I won one of my most favorite blogger’s Pay it Forward Contest!  Woot!  And me, I’m hardly ever the type to win things.  I’m totally stoked.

And there is 8:27 (and counting) until The Hills season finale (I spy Lauren’s little braid going on again), so I leave you with a quickie post, and two things…

One:
Click this. I tried to embed (?) it in here, but hell if I can figure something wild like that out.

And then this question:

If you could spend a week with the cast of one reality show, which show would it be?  (And if you don’t do reality tv, what regular tv show would you like to hangout with the tv characters from for a week?)

Consider your comment as a chance to win in my attempt to Pay it Forward!

 

they are my sunshines

I’m at Panera right now, and I’ve finally figured out how to use this wireless internet business on my new snazzy laptop.  This has proven to be a feat my friends, a big big feat for someone as untechsavvy as myself.  But, alas, I’m connected, hooked up, whatever the lingo is for it, and in the 6 o’clock hour on a Monday, the people watching here is at it’s prime.

As it was at the 2pm hour.  Yes, this is in fact, my second time in this same Panera (different seat) today.

Last night I stayed with my mom at my grandmother’s house.  My grandparents’ house?  I can’t describe how weird it feels to be saying that given the fact that they are no longer there.  It took some adjustment just to get in the swing of saying “my grandmother’s house” as opposed to calling it as a plural.  Even at that, I didn’t  get much of a chance to get too used to anything about that whole idea either.

I haven’t had the chance to grieve the loss of my grandfather, and then just like that, in a matter of weeks, my grandmother is now gone.

My grandfather dying in January…that has been such incredible and profound loss for me.  It still hurts, ginormously hurts like hell.  And now on top of that grief… now my grandmother is gone too.  We’re talking in a matter of 11 weeks, my whole entire life as I once knew it, has been totally turned around. 

I used to feel so special to be able to say that at almost 26 years old, I had all four grandparents still alive and healthy.   How many people can say that, really?  How fortunate and lucky I felt.  And not a day went by that I didn’t thank God for how good I had it.

How fucking quickly things can take such a drastic turn for the worse.  Amazing how true that saying that I quoted in my high school yearbook, “the only thing that stays the same is change” really is.

Right now, I think I am just pretty numb from it all.  It has all hit me at random moments over this past weekend.  At 12:45am the night following my grandmother’s death, when I found myself wide awake and sobbing into the arms of my amazingly understanding match.man.  Earlier that evening as my roommate left to go out for the night, pulling me into a big hug as the tears just began to flow.  Last night as I looked in the top drawer in my grandmother’s room, and found cards sent from me to her and my grandfather from over the years.

Today, I have an emotional wall up.  Tonight, I will, like last night, sleep in my grandparents’ house with my mom.  Tomorrow, at 12pm, my family will proceed into the church that we were in 11 weeks ago for my grandfather’s funeral.  Tomorrow afternoon, my family will drive to the ocean.  We will play skee-ball like we used to do in the summers as a family.  We’ll get pizza right by the water and sit on a bench and look out as the tide makes its way in.  We’ll sit together, we’ll sit and just be, together, and we’ll watch as the sun sets, looking for the sign that both of my grandparents told us to look out for. 

A sunset.  A sign.  That they are okay.  Living on… together again.

 

answers, in pictures

Got this from another blogger:

Here’s how it works:
1. Go to www.photobucket.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. Use only the first page
4. Insert the picture into your Blog

1.) What is your Relationship Status?

3.) Who is your Favorite Band / Artist?

4.) What is your Favorite Movie?

5.) What kind of pet do you have?

6.) Where do you live?

7.) Where do you work?

8.) What do you look like?
Seriously? What does this even mean?

9.) What do you drive?
<—-In red (of course).

11.) What is your Favorite TV Show?

12.) Describe yourself:

14.) What is your Name?

15.) What’s your Favorite Candy?

 

iLike

Things I have an affinity for as of late:  

• Oprah’s new show, The Big Give.  Did anyone watch it last night (and not cry?)?  The mother whose husbie was murdered with the two twins really got me.  What a wonderful idea for a show.  I’m diggin it.  
• Geesh, apparently racking up minutes on my cell phone again!  I went over by almost 150 minutes this month and over $100 dollars!  And, another reason my mom and I are so alike?  I get a voicemail from her today saying that she did the same thing last month and needed to consult with me since she knows I’ve been in this certain pickle before.  Granted, last month was a high volume call month with my grandfather being sick and all.  Still, hurts the wallet a spec when you gotta shell out an additional $100 bucks when you weren’t planning it!  
• My new! red! laptop!  (I’ve decided his gender is in fact male, mainly because I don’t really understand his whole make-up, how he works, etc., but also because I tend to almost always refer to inanimate objects as “he.”)  
• The Kite Runner.  I’ve finally gotten back into reading it.  I started it back a couple months ago, and was in this routine of reading before bed which is never a good thing for me.  I fall asleep pretty much on contact (which is good I guess), but not so good for retaining what I’m reading!  So, I’ve started back up with it and I’m liking it.  A lot.  
• Stellas!  I had one for the first time (a shock that I hadn’t already tried it out) when I met up with Nilsa a couple weeks ago.   
• Getting regular manis.  There’s a place near my apartment that charges just $10!  Pretty good deal if you ask me.  Speaking of, watch this, which puts me in hysterics every time. 
• Kelly green.  My roommate and I are obsessed with this color lately.  I’ve always had a thing for it, but with Springtime coming around (though it doesn’t feel like it here), it’s a perfect color to add a little oomph to an ensemble.  I just got a wallet in the color and I love it.  
• Hard boiled eggs.  Yeah I know, weird.  
• Clorox wipes.  I swear those things can do a job on everything.  I bust them out on the kitchen counters, the bathroom sink, you name it.  And they leave behind a nice clean, fresh smell!  The only small qualm I have, is that after using them?  The surface just seems too… wet (that’s what she said).  So I end up having to kind of take a paper towel to the area afterwards.  Which, is not a big deal per se, I guess I just wish they were a spec less wet.  Hmm.  
• Jotting down memories of my grandfather.  I’ll be sitting in a staff meeting in the morning and randomly remember a sweet conversation we once had, or a memory we shared together.  I’ve started carrying around a notebook to write these little gems down.
• Always, Red Sox players and any slash all news regarding them, their spring training, and their dancing.
• Jonathan Papelbon, because he deserves his own category.  The things I would like to do to him…  
• The new SATC trailer.  Enough said.
• The new HOH, courtesy of cdp.

 

new (purchases, friends, H’sOH)

See this puppy?  Me and this sassy red Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker that I just ordered are quickly going to become good friends.  I had absolutely no business going on an Amazon.com shopping spree, but, alas, a girl has to do this kind of retail therapy on a daily basis from time to time.  So soon I’ll have some new Bumble and Bumble shampoo coming my way, Oprah’s new book club book- A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, and this snazzy homemade ice cream maker.  I’m pumped!

And red seems to be the theme lately, as I finally have the new laptop I’ve been waiting ages for in my possession.  In crimson red!  It’s a pretty dead ringer for the ice cream maker, and also just so happens to match one of my favo(u)rite (spelled that way for you Brandy!) pairs of shoes.  I’m all up on the red bandwagon lately.  Is anyone else feeling the love?

So I was first introduced to the wonderfulness that is the homemade ice cream this past weekend when I got the chance to meet Nilsa while she was here in Mass with her “Sweets” (who kept getting quite the kick out of my use of “wicked” during our conversations)!  Another blogger meetup gone really well.  We met at the train station and made our way into Boston to meetup with Nilsa’s good friend Emily.  Emily lives in this great area in the South End, with homes that had that SATC-esque feel (like Carrie’s front stoop?) to it.  We went out for some really great food at this quirky little pizza joint that we just kind of stumbled upon as we were walking around.  We got some pictures there, which for the love of god I wish I knew how to upload on here (one day, maybe).  After that was when the ice cream making went down.  So.  Good.  And you can add anything in that you want!  Oreos and brownies, or cookies!  Mint or chocolate sauce.  You can even make sorbet, which, I’m damn amused by.  The whole Amazon package *should* be arriving within a few days (and I use should very loosely as you know my luck with this type of thing).

Nilsa and I were laughing at the first date feel that these blogger meetups sort of have to them.  She pointed out that it would make good practice for me with my new match.com endeavors.  Which, truth be told, my first meet up with a match man went well last night.  And?  He has a really good HOH.  So, of course, I told him as much.

Anywhoots, who’s watching ANTM?  Thoughts on the girls?  I’m not a fan of either of the girls representing Mass.  And American Idol?  I haven’t been keeping up as much with that, but I think I kind of dig the younger kid (David?), and the Irish girl and the blond one who has never seen an R rated movie…Brooke?  Your thoughts? 

 

not sleeping in

You know, I think that The Universe is trying to tell me something.

I’m not supposed to sleep in, at all, in the morning.

And the thing is, I’m not even a “late sleeper,” by definition.  I’m not one of those people that can sleep in super late.  I kind of prefer not to, as I think it’s just a big waste of the day.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some days that I bust out of bed at say, 8am, and then laze around all day.  A day like this though, usually leaves me feeling more tired and out of it, than if I were to get up at a reasonable time, workout, shower, and do something with myself.

During the week, if I’m being all gym-like, then I get my booty out of bed by 5:30.  That’s pretty early, I’m in a fog, and oftentimes I say fuck this noise to the whole thing, reset my alarm to 7, and attempt to do some other form of physical activity later in the day instead.  The thing is, when I do make it out of bed at that time, workout, and be on with my day, I always feel better and more energized.

That is, until 3:00pm-ish, when the whole day just freaking d r a g s.  So, I say that I will try to make it to bed early, before 11pm.  But that never happens.  And then I end up more tired, repeat the whole cycle the next day, never actually “catching up” on my sleep. 

So on the weekends, I at least hope to be able to do that, even a spec.  I’d even take an 8:30am rise.  That doesn’t seem to be what The Universe has in mind though.  First, there’s the fact that I got a whole bad thing going with my cat having trained me to get out of bed at 6:00ish every day to feed him.  He’s used to this deal during the week, which is fine, but on the weekends?  Not so much.  Yet I can’t just up and not to it, for he’ll be meowsing outside my room for hours, which is in fact quite more unpleasant than the stumble-out-of-bed-in-major-fog and feed him routine that I have mastered so well.

Usually after that whole feeding situation, I can head back to bed and fall right back to sleep.  Lately it hasn’t been working as well.  It’s either a snow situation outside, with plows and scrapping and who the hell knows what right outside my bedroom window.  And after that, all bets are off.  I’m awake, Cosmo is awake, party is over.

This morning is another perfect example.  I got to bed at around 12:30am last night, and had hoped to get myself maybe a 9am wakeup call.  Just because I knew how tired I was, I knew I needed to catch up from the week, and I figured now was my time.  Welp, The Universe had a different idea, when after I had just fallen back asleep after the cat-feeding-I-know-I’m whipped-situation, I heard stomping.  Stomping from what I now have learned to be the landlords’ grandkids.  I can only assume that they must have been doing some rendition of the cha-cha slide at this ungodly hour.  The stomping continued for another 15 minutes, I put the pillow over my head, the kids must have taken out a large truck and were now riding this around, I heard someone cry, I put on my iPod, Cosmo knocked a picture over, and then, I got up.

So, I didn’t sleep late, but thankfully I’m feeling okay right now.  Rested, which is good.  You know those days though where you know you just want to still be in the bed?  But it just seems like everything is going against making that a reality?  Today was another one of those days.  But, I’m okay with it- because soon, I’m getting some help with my new LAPTOP that finally came in (and it’s red!), and I’ll be able to play around with that this afta’.

Oh, and this guy doesn’t seem to mind too much about the shenanigans going on above us right now:

 

I don’t have all the answers….

I was trying to think of some fun, interesting way to let you all in on a new little secret of mine.  Something new I’m trying out.

I wanted to tell you all about it, what my plans were with it, what I’m hoping for from it and all these different details.

I wanted to do that.  I planned to do that.  Been thinking of a way to share the scoop with you here.

But then?  I got this:

And that pretty much explains it all.