I love steak tips.  

There, I said it.  

Though I dig a good burger, once in a while, it’s not very often enough to even write home about.

And I’m not even a big meat eater, but steak tips?  You’re damn right.  I’ve had a huge huge hankering for these suckers the past few weeks here.  I can’t get enough of them!  You tell me about marinated steak tips with a side of yummy veggies, eaten whilst sitting on a nice patio on a 73 degree breezy spring day, cold brewskis in front of me, and I swear I’m yours.   

Come to think of it, that’s pretty much my idea of the perfect date.  Though, dates, I’m not-a-havin for right now.  Taking a little break from that circuit, but keeping my eyes peeled.  Especially at Sox games or pubs slash lounges where games can be viewed on flat screen tvs, as I find that there are usually a few Good Looking Guys there also watching said games.  I’m down with ever so sneakily scoping them out as I also swoon over Papelbon in conjunction.  And I’ve recently been thinking that it would be cool to meet a dude at a Sporting Event.  I have no real reasoning here, other than the fact that a girlfriend of mine met her future-husbie-to-be at a bar watching the game last year, and now they are planning their nuptials.  It worked for them, so who knows.   

And that’s all I really have to say today.  I’m actually going out for steak tips tonight and I need to go pick out what shoes to wear for this Fun Adventure.  I’ll try and take a real picture of The Tips, but sometimes it gets a bit tricky explaining why I have my camera out to capture random moments like this, to those friends (okay, the one and only friend) who doesn’t know I have a blog.  We’ll see!

Last week I won one of my most favorite blogger’s Pay it Forward Contest!  Woot!  And me, I’m hardly ever the type to win things.  I’m totally stoked.

And there is 8:27 (and counting) until The Hills season finale (I spy Lauren’s little braid going on again), so I leave you with a quickie post, and two things…

One:
Click this. I tried to embed (?) it in here, but hell if I can figure something wild like that out.

And then this question:

If you could spend a week with the cast of one reality show, which show would it be?  (And if you don’t do reality tv, what regular tv show would you like to hangout with the tv characters from for a week?)

Consider your comment as a chance to win in my attempt to Pay it Forward!

Finally a new HOH on the scene.  Sorry, I’m clearly not savvy enough to get him to the right size on here (that’s what she said).

Oh and PS- To the person who searches “hot sex scenes” every day, to get to my blog?  I gotta say, I feel badly that you might not be finding what you’re looking for here.  My (lack of) scintillating, hot bedroom tales might be disappointing you, and I’m genuinely sorry (for you, and me).  I’ll see what I can do about fixing that situation so your search yields better results, but I can make no promises.

And if you haven’t seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall yet, I highly suggest you get your bad selves to a theater.  And prepare to laugh your booty off.  Oh and you can rest assured that Mr. Jason Segel will make it to HOH status here in no time. 

Happy weekend!

Well hello blogworld!  I’m back!  My time away in Cali seemed to just breeze by in a minute.  Some highlights from my trip include:

• Some good pool time, which gave me the opportunity to finally finish reading The Kite Runner (I know I’ve been talking about it for months), and to start reading this, which was a sweet gift from a co-worker before I left!
• Ooooh!!  Speaking of gifts!!!!  Remember this ring that I had on my birthday wish list last week?!!  Well guess what?  My good good bloggy-turned-real-life friend Miss Nilsa went ahead and ordered it up just for me, and it was waiting in a little envelope when I returned last night!  Thank you SO much lady!
• This:



• And this:



• A new Coach purse that I gifted myself from the outlet store that my mom and I spent several hours at one afternoon.
• Definitely lots of good, really quality time with my mom.
• This new little ditty, similar to the one I was eyeing last week:

(little bit sunburned?)

• HOLY HELL.  Meeting these guys:

(Yeah, I know.  The cuteness.  I’m tearing up again just posting these.  5 weeks!)

• Birthday martinis.  Blueberry Lemondrop.  To die for.
• Lots of plane time.  This wasn’t actually a “highlight” per se, but it did give me lots of thinking time.  I reflected on a conversation that Mr. Match and I had where he said he didn’t like that I used “woot.”  Red flag #36!  Though I do miss his big bear hugs and his HOH, I do not, my friends, miss that type of shit.  Oof.

There’s lots more to report from my Cali excursion, but for now I’m off with my roommate and some friends for a belated little birthday dinner and drinks!

Can someone please explain these new quilt-esque avatars that are going on lately?

So something went funky last night in My Bed because I woke up and my comforter was half on the bed half on the floor, I was sweating and cold, and my shirt was on backwards.  I do believe that said shirt mixup happened prior to going to bed, rather than mysteriously in the midst of a dream filled night, but I cannot even be certain of that.  We got home late from the Sox game (finally in the 9th inning they put Papelbon in), and after Fenway Franks and a handful of beers, I was completely wiped out by the time my roommate and I got in at 12:00am.  

And even Cosmo noticed something was up, as he continued to paw my head this morning at 5:30am.  I had a talk with him and pleaded that he stop that nonsense, which, he did, thankfully.  I gave him a birthday hug (he’s 1 today!, a Taurus too!) and rolled over and fell asleep to his soft purrs (I’ll stop now, lest I freak you all out with Single Cat Woman fodder).  

I have heaps to do today.  Some banking things and CVS type Pre-Trip-Shopping things.  A pedi after work followed by a bridesmaid meeting after that.  And then there’s the packing, which I haven’t even begun to think about.  I know my biggest problem will inevitably be how to cut back on the number of shoes I will attempt to stuff into my suitcase for a five day get-away.  

Thankfully, these are all Pretty Good Things, as they are prepping me for (finally) a sweet Little Getaway that I so need.  That all three of us need.  My mom, myself, and my dear roommate- who, as fate would have it, lost her precious grandfather yesterday.  Yesterday.  Could she and I live more parallel lives?  Yeah, this Getaway couldn’t be MORE timely.  

Anywhoots, I hope all of you have lovely weekends and hey, Happy May!  Oh and how about this gem- did you KNOW, holy hell, that my birthday, May 4, just so happens to also be International Firefighter’s Day?!  Yeah, I totally shit you not.  Could The Universe be trying to tell me something?  Like, I don’t know, that I need to end up with a Man in Uniform, like my old flame (get it?  ha. ha. ha.) down the street?!  

Off to Cali tomorrow… have a great weekend bloggybuds.  Catch you on the flip side!

That birthday list that I was thinking of busting out?  It’s not coming along too well.

The thing is, I’m just not good with stuff like that.  It’s like when you actually have money to spend, say, a gift card or something, and you can’t find a single thing you want.  When it seems like you were just at the same store shopping the previous week, and you saw a gazillion items screaming your name.

It’s like that, sort of.  My stepdad called me last week and told me to email him a few things I think I’d like.  He said he didn’t want to just send me a check, felt like that was too impersonal.  Well, I thought and thought.  Running shoes?  How could he pick them out?  Asking him to replenish my liquor cabinet?  Too much?  What about a Coach wristlet?  Then I’d feel impersonal/weird sending him a simple link.  I couldn’t come up with anything in particular.  He had suggested new bike tires or some triathlon gear, but the truth is, this year my heart just isn’t as into the triathlon thing.  Hopefully next season I’ll be more in check in regards to that, but this year, not so much.

Since I didn’t come up with Special Suggestions, he ended up going with the check after all.  He called me last night and told me it was coming.  Said how he felt bad for just sending a check, mentioned how he felt that wasn’t as thoughtful and personal as he’d like, and I could see his point.  He wanted to do something meaningful and special.  I just couldn’t come up with the suggestions for him.

And similarly, I am having a hell of a time coming up with any sort of birthday list to post here.  A couple other bloggers have said how exciting! they are, and while in theory, making a list of any and everything I’d want does sound like fun, I’m just having trouble whipping it all up.

I’m kind of more a… know it when I see it kind of girl.  Know what I’m saying?

Though, I wouldn’t mind gifting myself or getting gifted these earrings, this ring, this necklace (similar to an angel necklace I have, mine has gotten a little tarnished), a pair of Chuck Taylors that I design, oh and why not?- this necklace too, pretty much anything from the first bedroom here, … and well, maybe some bedroom time there (since we’re on the subject) with Papelbon and his good HOH, and a few brewskis with this guy.

Hmm, maybe it wasn’t as hard as I thought.

Oh, lastly, I’d like to have Lauren Conrad’s* hair stylist for a week- if I’m being choosy here, why not?

*Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of how to recreate this braid on yourself!  My roommate and I may or may not have spent an hour whilst watching last night’s episode playing hair stylist on each other trying to get this look down.  So not as easy as one might think.  Tia, your thoughts on this?

This weekend:

• Didn’t end up including those “pomegranate smash“ martinis that I mentioned, but it did include many a brewski.  I took that trade off in stride as we already have a few martini bars scoped out in Palm Springs for next weekend.
• My dear friend from college who got engaged over the holidays, asked my roommate, another bestie, and I to be bridesmaids in her wedding next June.  On the Cape.  On the beach!  I couldn’t be more stoked.
• Speaking of weddings, I’m in another one this coming August, for which I might be partaking in a bride/bridesmaid boot camp.  Interesting, yes?  Two nights a week for a little over a month, four girls, with (hopefully) a cute personal trainer, for an hour session to (hopefully) be followed by cocktails?  I’m so there. 
• Oh, and ANOTHER dear girlfriend from college was also just proposed to this past weekend! 
• I watched Michael Clayton, which took a lot of mental power for a Sunday, but truth be told, most of my focus was placed on swooning over Mr. Clooney. 
• I thought a lot about Mr. Match.  And missed him, a few times.  Realizing more that though the relationship wasn’t meant to be, I’m still pretty bummed that it’s over.

This week:

• I need to make that birthday list I keep thinking about….
• I hope to buy a couple cute new outfits (and shoes) for the weekend.
• Can NOT go by fast enough.

Hmm.  Methinks that is all.  Also, I do believe this may just go down as one of the most boring entries on this blog. 

It’s kind of embarassing, really.

I mean seriously, I’d totally understand if you didn’t even click over here from your reader.  And if you did, I apologize! 

At least I can FINALLY offer you a new HOH!

I’m thinking it’s time for a new post up in here.  I don’t know if you guys care, but I know that I’m damn done with coming to this here site and the first thing I see blazing as the first post reminds me of the fact that last Tuesday I got the boot.

That post is dead to me.  I’m spending enough time in my own head rehashing the whole thing; I’m just done being reminded of it first thing on here.

So, onward and upward.  Or something like that.

Oh first though, thank you for all your encouraging and supportive comments re: Mr.Match.  They really helped me out, and I may not have gone back 548 times to re-read them whilst feeling all wishy washy with the whole situation lately.

Speaking of, I have to drive by the little pub that he and I went for our first date, that we ended up at several more times and kind of coined as “our place” every time I go to yoga.  We’re talking at least a weekly basis here if not more.    

That kind of stings. 

Memories, memories.  Why do you haunt me so?

Anyway, I don’t know what you all have on tap for this weekend, but I plan to enjoy a I few pomegranate smash martinis at some point, hopefully go for a couple good runs, and maybe even make up a birthday wish list.  Hmm.  I’ve never been a wish list kind of girl because I can never, when prompted, actually come up with big ideas for what I’d want, but I think I’ll give it another go and see what I come up with.  I mean, why the hell not right?

Oh!, and!, I’ll be vacay-ing in Palm Springs for my birthday this year!  My mom has a friend with a condo there (with 30 nearby pools?!), so she and I and my roommate are taking off for a long weekend, starting next Friday.  I’m stoked and totally jonesing for a little escape. 

It’s nice having something to look forward to on the horizon.

Wishing you all wicked good weekends!

*Lengthy post ahead… proceed with caution.*

Today I am wearing a cute new, black & white shirt from Express, black capris, and one of my favorite pairs of red shoes.

Granted I don’t usually go on about what outfits I might be strutting whilst composing posts, yet today, I thought it was pertinent.

A good friend once told me (and I can’t remember the exact wording, but the sentiment isn’t lost), if you’re not feeling your best, dressing in a cute outfit, makes you feel better.

So what I’m saying is, though I’m not feeling great (understatement) today, I at least am not a walking picture of sulk.  I at least have that going for me.

******************************************************

I’ve been thinking about how to appropriately write this post. 

I’ve been staring at a blinking cursor for ten minutes.

Mr. Match man and I are no longer.

I just had this feeling that something was off.  After last week’s really tough 24 hour span that we spent together after my grandmother’s funeral, where we were bickery and skutchy (made up word) with each other off and on all day, I had a gut sense that things were just not… right.  But, he was the one who assured me, over and over, “Brookem, let’s just chalk this up to a bad day and go forward.  It would be a shame to call it quits after what just seems to be a bad 24 hours.”

I was leary, but I agreed.  Reluctantly, I agreed.  I liked him.  I wanted it to work with him.  Yet I remember, when we were talking about it all earlier that day, talking about us, I remember talking about the idea that two people can sometimes really get on well, be into each other, yet that does not always equal compatibility.  I remember, clearly, discussing this, but what really sticks out, is the feeling that I had when we talked about it.  Relief.  I felt almost as though a weight had been lifted, once that all was thrown out on the table.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized, that kind of thing can happen.  You can be really into someone, but that doesn’t necessarily a great relationship make.

Anyway, interesting enough, he was the one trying to convince me.  He was the one saying how much he liked me and wanted things to work with us.  I liked him enough too to at least not just throw my hands up in the air after a bad day and say screw the whole thing, so I went with it.  We took a week off from seeing each other.  I sent him a heartfelt email at the end of last week, thanking him for being so very supportive during this difficult time I’ve been going through, and how much that has meant to me.  He thanked me for the email (through text), but didn’t reply.  That was all fine, afterall, I didn’t write the email to warrent his response.  I wrote it for me.

Since then, things have seemed different.  He had been a little slower to respond to me, slower to initiate contact and just overall, I got the sense that things were different.  Something had shifted.  Of course, being the overanalyzer that I am, and The Crazy in me unable to be silenced, I thought the worst.  He’s done, I told my close friends.  No way, they reassured me.  He’s so into you.

I just figured he was giving me the space that I said that I was looking for.  That I said I needed.  That I do need, to find some sense of balance back in my life after all that has gone down.  When I said space, I didn’t mean space from him, but I wondered whether he took it as that.

Well, he didn’t.  He took the space because he wanted it.  I just had this feeling.  This feeling that things were no longer on the same page with us. 

When we talked last night, he was saying words to me that I felt like I could have scripted out.  I knew what he was about to say before he even said it.  I had been feeling this coming, preparing for this for the past few days.  It was a suprise, but really, it wasn’t.                                                    

***********************************************

There were lots of little things with us.  Little things about each other, that just… got on each of our nerves.  And truth be told, it wasn’t just a snapshot in time, just a bad 24 hour stint.  It was little things that came up here and there, and though they were just that, minor, little things, the little things add up.

They added up.

I am upset that it’s over.  I mean, I liked him, I really did.  I put myself out there, kept on trucking, past date four and five and then onto eight and nine, until I lost count of what date we were on.  I continued on seeing him, got myself past my Jump Ship stage, and was feeling pretty okay about things.  He was the one that seemed more into it than me.  I kept going with it, trying not to be so damn attached to the outcome.

The thing is, it was all very lukewarm.  I liked him, he liked me, but there were things.  Stuff was grating on us about each other, as much as we both wanted it to work, as much as we both really do like each other, it just wasn’t meant to be.  And really, the thing is, I know it all takes work, but, should it take this much work, so soon?  I don’t think so.

And that’s still kind of sad.  I feel dissapointed that it ended.  Dissapointed and sad that it’s over.  Perhaps I kind of had an inkling, and it very well could have been that I would have been the one calling it quits two weeks from now, who knows.  And I’m sad that he ended it, and not me.  As if that really even matters, but still.  Who likes to be on the receiving end of this type of thing?  Even if you do kind of agree with it all, rejection never feels good.  It just doesn’t; no matter how much “sense” it all makes.  I’ve never been on this side of things, always the one to end things first.  I wouldn’t say that position is any easier or better or more ideal.  Both suck.  This is just different.

I guess it’s better that it happened sooner, rather than later.  I know in my heart that it’s good that I saw this one through, for what it’s worth, the whole experience certaintly was not for nothing.  I know that this will end up being one of those “learning” and “growing” experiences for me.  Eventually.

We both like each other, it’s just not meant to be.

Oh, and timing sucks.

***************************************************

So, today I’m wearing that cute outfit.  And I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my friend is right.

Now please excuse me while I ponder what after(?) work cocktails I will be seeing my way to today.

Never been a big fan of Justin Bobby, but I have to (embarrassingly) admit, something? about him tonight, was a bit attractive.*  I finally, for one quick second, saw the appeal.  Maybe it was because his nasty HOH wasn’t so unruly?  Maybe because the whole Audrina/Justin Bobby interaction was sans any out-loud burps on his part?  And he appeared to really genuinely miss her?  And I’m a sucker for bad boys?  

Thoughts? 

*I know, I’m totally going to hell for even thinking such a thing.